Did you ever have one of those days/weeks you wish you could relive? I feel like this week was especially bad for our country---Boston, West Texas, avalanche in Colorado, crazy weather, the gun bill rejection etc...Like those in Boston we are also mourning the loss of a loved family member. Riley is gone. There. I said it. I didn't know if I had the courage to write this post, truth me told, but I felt like I owed it to our girl because she was so special to us.

I wont go into the details, just know that it was a freak accident and she was gone instantly. No suffering. What makes this especially difficult for me, is I didn't get to say goodbye. She has been living with my parents for the past few weeks, and was supposed to come home with us yesterday after Frankie's party.

She was only with us 6 years....6 years. Wow, and in that short time she completely changed and enriched out lives for the better. Each and every little thing reminds me of her, I can't get her out of my head. When I was loading the dishwasher I expected her to be there licking the plates clean. The sun was shinning all day and I kept looking for her on the deck, where she would be sunning. When I go to the bathroom, I expect her to appear and beg for some toilet paper. Her crate, her bowls, her hundreds of hankies from all her haircuts...now what am I supposed to do with them? I can't bring myself to get rid of them, because then I feel like I would be getting rid of her memory. Nick laid his sweatshirt on the bed today and I lost it-he left it the same way, every day for her. She would sleep on it when we were at work.

Not only was Riley a part of our family, but for Nick and I she was our first family. I remember each and every part of the day "we" ( I use that word loosely because he was along for the ride) went to pick out a dog. I had another one in mind, but realized she was a wild ass and decided against her. For 3 hours we played with each of the dogs finally Nick said, "I like that one." There she was- cute as a button and chewing on a tree stump. We should have know then- she was way more interested in her owner then any of her brothers and sisters. She was so much apart of our family that Nick proposed to me with the ring around her neck, and we tried to have her in our wedding, but the church said no.

We expected her to be around for at least another 10 years, and Nick and I discussed recently how terrible it will be to explain to Josie that all dogs go to heaven...I guess now we need to remind ourselves that. Its funny because I just told Nick last year that when Riley goes, I want her cremated so we can be buried together. When that day came yesterday, it just didn't seem right. She absolutely loved being outside, so it was only fitting that she be buried in the back yard with Jiggs and Sparky.

I know that life will go on,and things will eventually get back to normal, but in the mean time our hearts are breaking. I don't understand how someone could not like animals or see them as a family member. Maybe we go a little overboard with our pets, but they are just as much a part of the family as anyone else.

So Riley, Rile, Rye Rye, Pretty, just know that you were loved beyond words and we will miss you every day until we see you again. You will always be my first daughter.

I saw three rabbits in the yard today---I think they were looking for Riley