Sneak Peek

Here is a little sneak peek of our day yesterday! Funniest/cutest advertisement EVER!

Happy Friday

Happy long weekend Friday everyone! I need this long weekend, let me tell you. Today, Josie, Janer and I are heading back to Yellow Springs for another photo shoot! So excited to model another bonnet and pick one out. Praying the weather cooperates, its supposed to be 90 degrees and maybe rain.

However, we are so looking forward to tomorrow because the Dolan's are stopping by! Yes, we are finally getting Ms. Caroline and Josie back together after a long break. They are stopping for lunch on their way to the lake and we couldn't be more excited. I just hope Josie doesn't embarrass us and get upset when Caroline tries to love on her. She has a tendency to push away anyone that wants to hug and kiss her that isn't Nick or I.

This time I really mean it- we are going to baby proof this weekend!!!!!! I have a long list to get at the store and we are going to finally put the baby gate upstairs so she can crawl around. I need to get some new "big girl" spoons and forks since she will be using utensils soon, cabinet locks, sharp edge protectors, deodorizer for her trashcan, spray for her room, wooden puzzles, and maybe a new outfit or two (my favorite time of the year is upon us!).

not feeding her fast enough

crazy girl

It really is amazing how the Internet has connected all of us- whether we like it or not. I found Kelle Hampton by chance through Pinterest, who had a guest post by thewildercoast, and through stalking and reading about her amazing adventures, I noticed that digthischick was always commenting and they seemed to see each other often, even though they lived in different states. Then I started follow 'dig' and noticed that UB2           advertises on her site and it all comes full circle. Not that the other 3 bloggers have any clue who I am, but I love reading about their lives and children and I just may stalk thewildercoast at Colleen's wedding because she just moved to Asheville- I want to meet her so bad! 

Have a safe, long weekend everyone! 

xoxo

Apparently I'm not the only party pooper

10 WAYS BIRTHDAY PARTIES SUCK

- Compliments of Baby Sideburns

So let me get this straight: I push an 8-pound bowling ball out my hoo-ha and who gets to celebrate every year on that date? The f’ing bowling ball?

In less than two months my poop machine is turning four (Dear God, pleeeeease let four be better than three), which means it’s time to plan another birthday party. Agggggh, is there anything more torturous on this planet? Maybe water-boarding? Hmmm, no, I’m gonna say it’s a tie.

1. The Cost. I’d love to have the party in our backyard and save like a bazillion gajillion dollars, but A. You know if I do it’s going to tornado and hail and rain nuclear ash that day and B. My kid’s like 200% dead set on one of those bouncy house places. Are you f’ing kidding me?! Once we were at a bouncy house place and this kid must have had too much cake or caught Ebola there or something because he threw up in one of the bouncy houses and all the kids kept bouncing because no one noticed it was filled with vomit until it was all over the kids. Let’s just say I bleached and loofa’ed my kid until she had no more skin left. And now I kinda sorta have a thing against bouncy house places.

2. The goody bag. I just entertained and fed your little jackass for two hours, and now I’m supposed to send him home with a parting gift too? Some people call them goody bags. Some people call them party favors. I call them cheap plastic crapola from China that cause cancer and have parts that fall off and choke babies to death. Hmmm, yes, let’s waste more money on stuff that kills our kids and helps China. Brilliant.

3. The kids. Holy shit, we have to invite HOW MANY people to this birthday party?! Are we planning a wedding here? I mean, she’s four. For starters there’s this new rule that we have to invite every single kid in her class so we won’t hurt any feelings. What?!! They’re four. They’re not talking about what they did on the weekend. All they ever say these days is doodie and poo poo and toot. Besides, what ever happened to the whole damn totem pole of popularity and not everyone gets invited to everything? It’s like how they give a stupid trophy to every kid who participates these days. Remember the good ole days when kids could be like, “Nahhh, you’re not invited because you wear your underwear on the outside of your pants and save your boogers on your desk for when you’re hungry.” But seriously, I have nothing against Mr. Booger-Eater and my daughter is totally welcome to invite him or whoever else she wants to her party IF THEY ARE FRIENDS.

4. The whole RSVP thing. For the love of God, respond! I know that technically it means s’il vous plait, but it’s not really “if you please.” It means DO IT. I know you’re busy, but do you know what I’m busy doing? Counting the number of slices in a pizza in my head to make sure I’m ordering enough to feed your RUG RAT. So here’s the deal, if you don’t respond and your kid shows up, he’s not getting anything to eat. Nope, I don’t care if we have enough cake left over to make my ass look like J Lo’s. I’m sending your kid home a hungry, crying, snotty mess.

5. Cake. Are there things I can complain about when it comes to birthday cake? Sure. Am I going to say them? N-O. Birthday cake is like my bestest friend in the whole wide world, and I’m not going to say bad shit about my friend. I love you, birthday cake.

6.  And speaking of friends, let’s talk about enemies: Pinterest. Pinterest is like the bane of my existence. ‘Cause here’s the shit I see on Pinterest:

Damn it, now I need a snack break after seeing those donut holes. Back in a minute. Okay, I’m back.

This is actually a party I went to last week at my friend’s house. Correction, ex-friend’s house.

ME: WTF, Penelope, what is this?   PENELOPE: Isn’t it adorable? I saw it on Pinterest.   No, Penelope, it’s not adorable. It just makes me look like a shitty mom for dumping a bunch of chips in a bowl and forgetting the forks at home so everyone has to eat cake with their hands and now they’ll all have black fingers for a week from the black frosting (which should be illegal).

7. Balloons. Kids think balloons are basically gold spun from unicorn hair but they’re wrong. Balloons are annoying as shit and I refuse to have them at my kid’s party and here’s why:   a. Your kid’s going to let go of her balloon like a thousand times and whine every time and every time you’re going to have to reach up and get it for her.   b. If you’re outside, your kid’s going to hold onto that ribbon tight until the second she’s out the door and then she’s going to let go of it and lose her shit as she watches it getting smaller and smaller in the sky.   KID: Wahhhhhhhhhh   ME: I told you not to let go.   KID: Wahhhhhhhhhhh   ME: Sorry, honey. We’ll get another balloon later.   KID: Wahhhhhhhhhhhh   ME: Okay, that’s enough. It’s a piece of plastic.   KID: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh   ME: Fine, hold on, I’ll go get you another.   c. No officer, I didn’t see you following me with your lights for the past two miles because all I could see in my rearview mirror was a giant purple orb of latex bobbing around.   d. Don’t bite the balloo— oh shit, that’s gotta hurt. And judging by the giant red welt across your jaw it hurts like a mother-F’er. Let’s just hope you’re only psychologically scarred for life and scared shitless of balloons from now on and will never want one again.

8. Lunch. Eight times 22 divided by 2.5 plus 7 times 15, awww screw it, I can’t figure out how much pizza we’re gonna need. Just give us the largest pizza package so we don’t run out and we’ll just take home the leftovers. Only we won’t end up taking them home because our trunk’s gonna be full of presents. Then again, this is probably a good thing because if we take them our trunk’s gonna smell like pizza for the rest of the week and make me salivate every time I get into my minivan.

9. Gifts. Recently I’ve heard about some moms creating registries for their kids’ birthday parties. Insert barfing sounds here. But fine, just to go with the flow, here’s my registry:   1. 2. 3.   No, that’s not a typo. It’s supposed to be blank. Because WE DON’T NEED ANY PRESENTS. The last thing I want is more shit in our house. Wait, no I changed my mind. You know what I want. I would like everyone to bring us empty gift bags in assorted sizes because that’s the only thing having a party is good for. Getting all the wrapping you can use for the rest of the year.

10. And what comes after getting a lot of crap you don’t want? Thank you notes. I’m all for thank you notes WHEN MY KID CAN WRITE. Exhibit A:

So guess who has to write them all. Yours truly. So if you give my kid a drum set or finger-paints or another stuffed animal or pretty much anything else they sell at Toys R Ass, guess what I’m gonna do. I’m going to fill your thank you note with glitter and confetti. It’s raining sequins, hallelujah, it’s raining sequins, amen!

And there you go. So if you don’t get an invitation to my kid’s birthday party in a few weeks it’s actually a good thing. It means I like you and don’t want to subject you to the torture. And if you do get one, I’m sorry.

Need to get in gear

Well, the time has come for me to finally start planning Josie's 1st Birthday. It still seems surreal, and I'm trying to remember what I was thinking/feeling at this time last year, and its a total blur. I know I was sweating my ass off and was ready to meet her- that's about it.

Nick and I have been hashing over birthday details for a bit now and we have agreed on a few things- it will be at home, it will be small, and that's about it. I have decided on the invitation and the menu, BUT I don't own a glue gun, I cant sew, I'm not "crafty" in any way, so she may just get some food, a dollar store party hat, and some water balloons that I accidentally bought earlier this year. Hahahah how lame. Needless to say, I need to get my ass in gear because it will be here before we know it!

We had quite a busy weekend for our standards. Friday, Josie and I went to Kyong's for lunch. I forgot to take a picture of them, but she made the most delicious blueberry pancakes! I had to cut Josie off she wanted to eat them all.

We didn't have anything to eat that night so we went to Jason's Deli for the blue plate special. Got there around 5:45, and as soon as we sat down I realized I forgot two very important items. A bib and sippy cup. This was the first time we ordered Josie her own meal at a restaurant, so we had to improvise. She's Italian so I figured this was acceptable. 

quick Mansfield trip

Uncle Nick and Frankie had on matching outfits

laughing at sunglasses

Poor Josie is teething terribly! She has been drooling like crazy and really upset at nights. I just had to give her some Tylenol to calm her down and take a nap. These teeth have taken their sweet ass time arriving, I just hope she gets multiple at once so its over quickly.  

Can't wait for the 4 day weekend!!!!! :) 

Happy Friday

Happy Friday everyone! Man this week flew by. We have been busy at work with events, so the time is going and I am so happy its the weekend. We need to finish ahhhh hmmm, baby proofing this weekend. None of our cabinets are locked, sooooo yea- need to get on on that. Also, we are going to the farmers market, Simba poo poo is getting a hair cut and we are hopefully catching up with some friends. 

I swear the last few weeks Josie has grown so much. Not only is she eating everything in site and saying Mama, she is babbling, pointing at things, repeating what we do and say and recognizing shapes. When I read to her at night, I ask her where the "duckies" are and she points right away. And if we ask where the "doggie" is, she starts to look for Simba and tries to say doggie. 

We always have pasta on Sunday's and Josie looooooves her pasta. Last weekend Nick ordered one of his favorite dishes from Giada, so that's what I whipped up and she absolutely loved it. I didn't put in the red pepper flakes, it has a kick on its own, and she makes this adorable sound the entire time she's eating. 

Have a great weekend!

xoxo

Friday Phone Purge

Swing-a-ding

I finally have a moment to myself! Daddy is working, baby is in bed, I have washed all the dishes, packed her snacks and bottles for tomorrow, made and pureed sweet potatoes and caught up with Molls Balls.

We had a great and relaxing weekend. Since I worked on Friday I was kind of screwed up, and time flew by, but I still had enough time to spend with the fam. Now that I'm not nursing at much I have more time to get away. Saturday mom came down and we did some shopping. I had every intention of getting some new clothes that I am in desperate need of, but of course, I bought one pair of pants, and everything else I bought was for Josie.

cant even handle the cuteness!

looks like a 1940's baby

wearing her new shoes out of the store

 like Mom used to

On Sunday we decided to walk to the school in our neighborhood and try out the swings. Josie has never been a huge fan of the swing at Jen's- she always like to go really really slow. That is definitely not the case now. She really enjoyed the swing and even Simba poo poo made the trip.

I apparently haven't seen the sun in a decade

wasn't too sure about the gravel

Tonight was bath night, and thankfully she took a big poo before, however she had some butt crumbs leftover that I didn't catch, so we had turds floating in her bath water. Needless to say, we drained and started over.

Lots of fun pictures to come on Friday and a video of our hungry girl in action!

Happy Friday

I know, I am late peeps! I had a dentist appointment this morning, and am working today and had yesterday off. I don't think I'm going to eat for the rest of the day because I don't want to ruin my cleaning! Anyway, I really don't know what the hell we did this week- it was a total blur and I apparently didn't take too many pictures, but we had a great time, and Josie is allllll over the place and we really have to keep a close eye on her.

Her favorite thing ( and has been for awhile) is playing on our bed. Nick has been flipping her on her back for a long time and she thinks its the bee's knees. I need to get a video of her this weekend, she just laughs and laughs. OH, and another BIG BIG thing- she started saying Mama! I am so proud and so happy to finally hear that word! She doesn't say it on command like Dada, but all of a sudden she'll just start rambling and out comes the mamamamamammamamama.

She also has two new teeth ready to come in- finally! We can see the top two at the surface of her gums and one is definitely lower than the other, so she'll look like a snaggle tooth bum for a while- but a cute snaggle tooth bum!

Planning to do some shopping, painting, cleaning (always cleaning) and spend some time outside this weekend. Have a good one! XOXO

her new jacket from tar-jay

Weekend Wrap-up

This weekend we were busy with lots of home things- painting, cleaning, rearranging, enjoying the nice weather, etc... 

Her new favorite thing to do....just look at her face! Oh the joy. 

Oh, and those cute pj's that she has on in the video- don't let them fool you. They are from GAP and super cute and trendy, but man do they take on any kind of smell that happens to waft in their direction. Josie woke up early Friday morning and from her AM nap because she pooped her pants. Later that morning, I checked her diaper again because I thought she took another crap -she didn't, BUT I about threw up from the shit smell coming from her pants. It was so disgusting, and lesson learned. Once she has pooped in those pants, its time to head to the laundry basket.

out to lunch at Pies and Pints

eating cheese ravioli! YUM

Apparently all I did this weekend was clean and clean up poop...